How Life Coaching Helped Me Transform My Life—Inside and Out

"Change your thoughts, and you change your world." - Norman Vincent Peale

I didn't look for life coaching.  It found me.

When I first stumbled upon life coaching, I had no idea it would lead to one of the most profound transformations of my life.

I had never even heard of "life coaching" before 2015.

In fact, my first experience with life coaching, was when I hired a business coach. I wanted to improve my business, so hiring a business coach made sense to me.

Turns out, the best way to improve your business starts with doing the "inside work"...

It wasn’t just about learning new skills or tweaking my mindset—it was about truly getting to know myself, accepting who I am, and choosing to live intentionally.

Looking back now, I wish I had discovered coaching earlier, especially during my first divorce. It would have given me the tools and perspective I so desperately needed at that time.

But I found it when I was ready, and it has changed everything.

Life Before Coaching

Before life coaching, I took so many things personally.

When friends or loved ones disappointed me, I would often make it mean that I wasn’t important to them or that something was inherently wrong with me.

Although I didn't know it then, it wasn’t their actions that caused the pain, but my thoughts about their actions that triggered a sense of inadequacy and self-doubt.

This way of thinking affected so many of my relationships, including my marriage.

Every misunderstanding felt like a personal affront, and I found myself constantly reacting to the world around me rather than responding from a place of clarity and confidence.

I wasn’t aware at the time how much my thoughts were creating these experiences. I didn’t understand that my reactions were rooted in the meanings I attached to situations, not the situations themselves.

The Power of Coaching

When I discovered life coaching, it was like a light switch was flipped.

I began to see that our thoughts create outcomes—and that we have the power to manage our thoughts and, in turn, our results. This simple but powerful idea opened up a whole new world of possibilities for me.

Instead of being at the mercy of my emotions and reactions, I learned to pause and reflect before taking action.

Coaching helped me recognize that I didn’t have to let disappointments, misunderstandings, or challenges define me or dictate how I felt about myself.

I started to approach life with intentionality, asking myself, "What outcome do I want in this situation?", "What action do I need to take to create that outcome?", and "What thoughts will lead me to take that action?"

That shift alone brought me so much peace and freedom. I no longer took things personally because I wasn’t attaching unnecessary meaning to other people’s actions. I began to understand that their behavior was a reflection of their own world—not mine.

Choosing to Stay Single—An Act of Self-Love

Coaching also gave me the courage to stay single after my second divorce, a decision that was entirely different from anything I had done before.

I came to the realization that if I wanted to stop repeating the same patterns in my relationships, I was going to have to do something different.

After 30 years of focusing on relationships and trying to meet the expectations of others, I finally realized that I needed to focus on myself.

During this time, I took the opportunity to get to know myself, really understand what I wanted out of life, and, most importantly, fall in love with who I am.

For the first time, I wasn’t relying on a romantic partner to complete me or fill any emotional gaps.

My self-worth wasn't dependant on someone else seeing my value.

I learned to embrace myself, warts and all, and build a life I loved independently.

By staying single, I was able to do the inner work needed to become whole on my own terms, without needing validation from anyone else.

It was through this process that I realized how much more powerful and fulfilling life could be when it’s built on a foundation of self-love.

This is a photo of me celebrating my 50th birthday on a week-long solo trip to Tofino, British Columbia.

Entering a Relationship From a Place of Wholeness

Eventually, I found myself ready to enter a new romantic relationship.

But this time, I was approaching it from a completely different place.

I wasn’t looking for someone to complete me—I was already complete.

Instead, I entered the relationship from a place of wanting to be with someone, not needing them.

And that made all the difference.

The skills I learned through coaching have allowed me to show up in my relationship with greater clarity and confidence.

I no longer approach love from a place of fear or insecurity.

Instead, I’ve built a relationship that feels healthy, balanced, and fulfilling because it’s rooted in mutual respect and a desire to share life together, rather than filling emotional voids.

Intentional Living—Starting With the End in Mind

One of the most valuable lessons I’ve learned through coaching is the importance of starting with the end in mind.

It’s not just about setting goals—it’s about having a clear vision for what you want your life to look like and making intentional choices that align with that vision.

Every decision I make now is guided by the outcome I want to create, whether it’s in my personal relationships, my career, or my day-to-day life.

Instead of letting life happen to me, I’ve learned to take control of the narrative.

I create the outcomes I want by managing my thoughts and aligning them with my goals. This mindset shift was so empowering, and it’s something I wished everyone could experience.

Becoming a Certified Life Coach: Expanding My Impact

The transformation didn’t stop with being coached.

I wanted to help as many people as possible experience the powerful transformation I had created for myself.  So in 2018, I completed my first life coach certification. 

This has not only deepened my own personal growth but has also opened up a whole new world of possibilities for making an impact in the world.

It has allowed me to create even better results for my mediation clients by helping them bring their relationships to completion in a way that allows them to co-create a “one family, two homes” reality for their children.

But even more exciting is that it’s allowed me to expand beyond mediation and step fully into my role as a heart-centered divorce strategist and conscious relationship coach.

Now, I also work with individuals outside of the mediation process, guiding them through the various stages of divorce and relationship transition.

Coaching has equipped me with the tools to come alongside my clients and show them how it’s possible to navigate divorce without regret by focusing on building conscious relationships, both with themselves and others.

And recently, I've been blessed to work with couples who find themselves at a crossroad in their relationship, and who have reached out for my help looking to heal their relationship and avoid divorce.  This has been some of the most fulfilling work I have done to date.

The Transformation Continues

Life coaching has changed me in ways I never imagined.

It has allowed me to find peace within myself, build a life I love, and show up in my relationships as a whole, fulfilled person.

It has taught me that the power to create the life I want has always been within me—it just took coaching to unlock it.

And it has allowed me to make a difference doing work that I absolutely love, and create an impact in the lives of my clients that has exceeded all of my expectations.

If you’re curious about how working with me as your coach can be a game changer and help you fall in love with your life, I invite you to book a discovery call today.

I would love to explore how coaching can help you create the life and relationships you truly desire.