Today is the First Day of the Rest of Your Life

As I write this, it happens to be the first day of SPRING and I can’t think of a more perfect time to release my very first blog post!! Spring is all about new beginnings and nature coming back to life. Creating a new blog fits beautifully with that theme...

The truth is, I’ve been thinking about creating this blog for ages now…

I imagined a space where those of you who are navigating separation and divorce and feeling a little lost and overwhelmed by it all could come to find hope and some insight to make life a little easier for you. 

A light at the end of the tunnel if you will…

A place where you would feel seen and heard, supported while you go through the difficult moments, and inspired and hopeful as you move forward in creating your best life.

Whether you went through a separation 15 years ago, or 15 minutes ago... 

There’s so much insight I can share with you from what my clients have taught me over the years - especially my mediation clients – about navigating the challenges and fears and frustrations that go along with what is absolutely one of life’s most difficult experiences. 

And dealing with my own separation and divorce brought it all home for me. 

The last 13 years have provided me with first-hand knowledge about how challenging it is to deal with the end of your marriage and everything that comes afterwards: finances, single parenting, co-parenting, dating, remarriage, blended families – all while trying to balance what’s best for you with what’s best for your children, and without feeling like you’ve messed them up. In fact, there have been days where I was convinced my decisions almost certainly would mess them up… 

I guess that’s one of the reasons I have been dragging my heels on launching this website and blog…

I mean…am I really qualified to do this? 

There are many days when I say to myself:

Who am I to be telling others how to figure this all out? I don’t have all the answers. I’m no expert on how to do this. I’ve made so many mistakes in the last 16 years in dealing with my own journey.

But then there are other days when I say to myself:

The mistakes you’ve made are precisely why you are the person to do this. This isn’t just “theory” to you – this is real life. You don’t need to have all the answers to be helpful to others who are exactly where you were. You need to want to make a difference in the lives of those who are on a similar journey.

And so here I am…

Writing my first blog post as a life coach for all the world to see…

Terrified that someone will call me out for being a fraud for holding myself out as someone who has their sh*t together... 

Let me be perfectly clear. I do not have my sh*t together.

• I am prone to overthink, procrastinate, and over-analyze like nobody's business.
• I worry about what others think, take things personally and make assumptions far too often.
• I pay bills late, put travel on credit, and will spend $30 on a new pottery mug without a second thought.
• I can eat an entire bag of Pirate Oatmeal Peanut Butter cookies, go an entire day without drinking water, and I have gained and lost 40 lbs at least 6 times in my life.
• I don't call my mother often enough, I check-up on my adult children too often, and I have sent Christmas presents in July to my family back home.
• I am rubbish at throwing things away - I have love letters from my high school sweetheart in a shoe box in the back of my closet somewhere.
• I have been telling myself I need a solid nighttime routine for years now, and I still catch myself scrolling Facebook and Instagram at 10:00 p.m.
• I have a TO DO list that has items on it from 6 years ago.

Enough? 

I think you get the picture. 

Why am I sharing all of this with you?

I want to call myself out so no one else can.

I can't drag my heels on sharing my message any longer. 

I'm convinced that despite of my long list of shortcomings and flaws, I have something to share that might make a difference to someone who is where I was along the road of separation and divorce. And it may sound cliché, but if I can help even one person who is feeling what I have felt along the way...

I remember how terrified and overwhelmed I was as a single mother of a 6 year old and a 4 year old, living on my own for the first time in 12 years. 

I remember having a lump in my throat for months and barely being able to eat because of it. (that was ONE of the times I lost 40 pounds...)

I remember being so sad that I could barely get out of bed in the morning to get the kids to school and daycare and get myself to work on time. 

And as hopeless as I felt most days, I was determined not to stay stuck there.  I knew there had to be more to life.  I didn’t end my marriage to spend the rest of my life sad, or to just barely survive.  I made that decision because I knew that life was meant to be extraordinary.  So, eventually, I set out to reverse-engineer my life. 

I called it "making lemonade out of lemons". 

I decided what I wanted my life to look like from that point forward, pieced together a plan for creating it - a “blueprint” if you will - and then I began executing on the plan, one step at a time.

And because of my journey over the course of the last 13 years, what I DO have is gobs of ideas about how to deal with separation and divorce and still live your best life. I may not have all the answers on how to do that perfectly– some days my best is better than others. But what I do have is dogged determination to keep trying to do my best each and everyday. I know how to never give up working towards stepping into the best version of myself, regardless of how many times I feel like I’m sucking at it!

I’m someone who makes plenty of mistakes as a mother, ex-wife, daughter, sister, friend, entrepreneur.  And I’m more determined than ever to show up as the best version of myself in each of these relationships.  I have been blessed with a seemingly unlimited supply of hope which allows me to start each day with the solid belief that life is crazy good, and to see it as a fresh chance to make my difference in the world. 

The other thing you need to know about me is I always shoot straight from the hip. I’ll always tell it to you straight – even when you want me to sugar coat it, I won’t. But it will always come from a place of love and light…direct from my stubborn heart to yours. 

So I guess what I’m saying is this…

If you need a little hope for the future, maybe a little tough love from time to time, and a dose of inspiration for living your best life, you've come to the right place.

If you want to hang out with me here from time to time, my plan is to share everything I know with you so that, together, we can figure out how to not only survive separation and divorce, but how to come through the other side wiser and stronger and more determined than ever to squeeze every ounce of beauty and joy out of this incredible ride we call life! 

Are you in? If so, hold on because we’re in for one amazing ride!! xo

Let's connect to explore how working with me as your Coach will allow you to navigate every stage of divorce with intention. Book Your Discovery Call here.