The Essential Self-Care Practice List

We’re all guilty of it. 

Taking care of everyone else’s needs/wants long before we see to our own. 

And we wonder why we start to feel exhausted and cranky? 

Taking care of everyone around us before taking care of ourselves may seem noble, but it’s actually very irresponsible.  It leads to burnout and resentment and it actually prevents us from showing up for our loved ones in the long run.

Your kids need you at your best right now. 

Especially in the early stages of separation. 

I’ve always said that it’s a cruel irony that our kids need us at the top of our game at a time when we are at our lowest. 

Separation and divorce is one of the most stressful times in our lives.  I know that there are days when it seems doubtful that you’ll be able to get out of bed and feed yourself.  And yet, this is when your kids need you to show up for them fully.  Now more than ever.     

What’s the answer? 

Self-care. 

Filling your cup BEFORE you even think of taking care of anyone else’s need is the most responsible way to go.  Making your needs a priority is the best way to ensure that you have the ability to be there for those who need you.  In fact, it’s the only way to show up fully in every aspect of your life.

Here are some practical suggestions to help you show up as the best version of yourself. 

Today. 

Regardless of whether you’ve been separated for 5 minutes or divorced for 5 years. 

Any one of these practices will give you an instant shot of goodness.  If you practice them daily and in combination one with the other, you will become almost unrecognizable to yourself.  Trust me on this one.

• A hot bath with candles and bath salts
• A green smoothie
• Meditate
• Journal
• Do something fun with the kids
• Treat yourself to something that feels indulgent ie: read fiction, facial, massage
• Move: yoga, run, walk
• Time in nature

Here's one additional practice that deserves to be highlighted...

• get your sleep

Go to bed early, and get up early.  Getting through this difficult period of time is exhausting work and your body (and mind) needs lots of rest.  Don’t stay up late watching Netflix, or worse, the news, (or googling “How to get even with your ex”), or worst of all, going through old wedding photos. 

Everything looks/seems worse after midnight – it's when the evil forces of the world have their own little dance party, I’m sure. 

If you can put yourself to bed early enough to ensure you get 7-8 hours of sleep (or just with your head on the pillow if sleep evades you…) and still get up with the sun, you will wake ready to take on the world.  Nothing like watching a sunrise with a fresh cup of java to make yesterday seem miles away.  You get a fresh start every day – a clean slate!

And one more. Perhaps the most important practice of all...

• gratitude

A cliché?!  Maybe…but it works! 

Last thing before bed or first thing in the morning, right before you put your "SUPERHERO" cape on to face the world, write down a minimum of 3 things you’re thankful for – big or small. 

Perspective is everything!! (glass half full, people!!) 

To take it to the next level, remind yourself of WHY you are thankful for each of those things. Really dig deep here.  Don't just scratch the surface.

For bonus points, try to be thankful for something that is hard to accept.

Try to see the opportunity in something that seems like a loss or a failure.

One of my favourite thought leaders, Wayne Dyer, once said: “When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.”  

If you take nothing else away from this article, let it be this.

The most responsible thing you can do when others are counting on you is to make it a point to incorporate some of these self-care practices into your life regularly.  

Ideally, do at least one daily. 

I promise you will benefit greatly from it.  And your children will benefit most of all. xo

P.S. If you'd like to learn more about HOW to implement self-care strategies into your life, request a copy of my free Divorce Survival Kit here.  It walks you through 7 essential tools for navigating the tough days.

Let's connect to explore how working with me as your Coach will allow you to navigate every stage of divorce with intention. Book Your Discovery Call here.