The Significance of Leaving a Legacy: A Tribute to Donald Sutherland

Today, we mourn the loss of a great Canadian, Donald Sutherland.

Sutherland's legacy is one of remarkable talent, dedication, and an unwavering commitment to his craft. His contributions to film and television have touched countless lives and will be remembered for generations.

His son, Kiefer Sutherland, posted the following message on social media, along with the photo above, to tell of his father’s passing:

"With a heavy heart, I tell you that my father, Donald Sutherland, has passed away.  I personally think one of the most important actors in the history of film.  Never daunted by a role, good, bad or ugly.  He loved what he did and did what he loved, and one can never ask for more than that.  A life well lived."

You and I may never have the professional accomplishments or accolades that even come close to those of Donald Sutherland.

But legacy goes beyond professional accomplishments. It encompasses the values we instill, the memories we create, and the lessons we pass on. It's something we leave for the world to show that we were here and our time on earth mattered.

As parents, we have the unique opportunity to shape our children’s futures through the legacy we leave behind.

For Kiefer Sutherland, his father’s legacy includes teaching him that a life well lived means choosing a career that you love.  It’s no coincidence that he followed in his father’s career footsteps.

But make no mistake, even if we don't live the life of Donald Sutherland, we will leave a legacy for our children to speak about when we pass.

The Impact of Divorce on Legacy

Divorce is a significant life event that will profoundly impact the legacy we leave behind.

It’s easy to get caught up in the emotional turmoil and forget the bigger picture. However, our children are watching and learning from how we handle this challenging time.

They witness our resilience, our ability to navigate conflict, and our commitment to their well-being.

And they don’t miss a thing.

The way we manage our divorce can either be a testament to our strength and love or a source of pain and conflict. The legacy we leave for our children is shaped by these pivotal moments.

Co-Parenting as Part of the Legacy

Successful co-parenting is one of the most powerful legacies we can leave our children.

Our commitment to maintaining a positive co-parenting relationship after divorce demonstrates to our children that despite differences, two people can work together for the greater good, and more specifically, for the greater good of their children.

It shows that respect, cooperation, and unconditional love are possible even in difficult circumstances.

By prioritizing our children's needs and maintaining a united front, we provide them with a stable and loving environment. It allows us to give them the gift of a “one family, two homes” childhood. This strong family foundation helps them grow into well-adjusted, confident adults who understand the value of healthy relationships.

A positive co-parenting relationship isn't about pretending there is no conflict in the relationship – it’s about normalizing the fact that differences within relationships are normal and healthy, and showing your children that there is a constructive way to manage conflict within relationships.

How do we decide the legacy we want to leave our children?

To create a legacy that we can be proud of, we must reflect on what we want our children to remember about their childhood, our relationships with them and with others, and how we lived our lives.

What values do we want to pass on?

What memories do we want them to cherish?

Taking the time to answer questions like these can guide our actions and decisions during and after a divorce. Being intentional about the legacy we want to create for our children helps us stay focused on what truly matters – our children's well-being and happiness - especially during the most challenging moments.

This might be a good time for me to share with you the legacy I want to leave.

I want to be an example of how to create a life you love.

I want my children to look back on my life and see someone who loved deeply, lived life to the fullest, and never settled for mediocrity in any aspect of life. 

I want them to value relationships of all kinds and learn how to communicate their needs in a way that maintains the quality of those relationships.

 Now it's your turn...

Here are a few questions to help you decide the legacy you want to create for your children:

• What do I want my children to remember about me?
• How do I want them to remember their childhood?
• What lessons do I want to pass down through my actions and decisions?
• What kind of role model do I want to be for my children during and after the divorce?
• How can I demonstrate love, resilience, and positivity during this time?
• How do I want them to perceive their family, even if it’s different from the traditional structure?

I promise you that time spent contemplating these questions and writing out your answers will be time well spent.

Steps to Building a Positive Legacy

As you can see by now, creating a positive legacy requires intentional effort on your part, especially as you navigate challenging life experiences like divorce. Here are some steps to help ensure you leave behind a legacy of love, resilience, and positive memories:

1. Maintain Open Communication: Keep lines of communication open with your children. Listen to their concerns and reassure them of your love and commitment.
2. Put Children’s Needs First: Prioritize your children's emotional and physical well-being in every decision you make. Their needs should always come before any conflict or disagreement.
3. Show Respect and Cooperation: Model respectful and cooperative behavior with your co-parent. Demonstrating a united front helps your children feel secure and loved.
4. Seek Support: Don’t hesitate to seek professional help if needed. Therapists, mediators, and coaches can provide valuable guidance and support during this challenging time.
5. Create Positive Memories: Make an effort to create joyful and meaningful experiences with your children. These memories will be cherished and remembered long after the difficult times have passed.

Conclusion: Let this be your Call to Action…

My hope is that you walk away from this blog post feeling inspired to create the story you want your children to tell about your divorce someday.

The actions you take today lay the foundation for your children’s past.

Imagine a future where your children look back and see you demonstrating strength, compassion, and unwavering love, rather than a victim mentality, pettiness and resentment.

Give them a story to tell that they can be proud of, in spite of your divorce.

Perhaps even BECAUSE of your divorce…

Let this be your opportunity to create a legacy of resilience, kindness, and unconditional love. xo

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 Let's connect to explore how working with me as your Coach will allow you to navigate every stage of divorce with intention. Book Your Discovery Call here.